Korea - Summer 2005

My summer in Korea was a low point, and I struggled with depression while I was there.

Previously, most of my trips to Korea had lasted two weeks at most. The one exception was the summer before I started college, where I spent two months there. However, that summer had been one of self-indulgence. Having finally gotten into college, I allowed myself to do as I pleased -- partying with my friends, spending the money my relatives had given to me, and enjoying one of those perfect summer flings.

This trip was vastly different. I learned that two weeks was probably the best length of time to spend in Korea. Beyond that period, you realized that there was little to do for fun in Seoul besides get drunk. Furthermore, I was there expressly to make as money as possible so I could study in Paris. That summer taught me that I could never make my sole existence about making money. I felt like my soul was dying each day I went to work. Despite getting along with most of my coworkers, and having the chance to become close with my friend Christina, I despised my boss, who promised one thing and gave us another. Despite the strides in technology and other forms of modernization that Korean society was still fairly sexist. I also felt stifled in such a homogenous culture, one which seemed to reject creativity in favor of conformity. I couldn't dress the way I wanted to without expecting to receive stares in the subway or on the street. My relatives told me I was fat, as the ideal was to be stick skinny, with a body more like an adolescent than a woman.

I stayed at my grandmother's house while in Seoul. My grandmother lives with two unmarried aunts and I became close with them -- another of the few good experiences I had while in Korea. One of them in particular was an amazing cook and I loved eating her food.

However, when it was time to leave Korea, I was ready to go.